What's worse than having your direct flight canceled and replaced with a layover in Dallas Fort Worth? Having the flight out of DFW canceled! Zero and I spent some quality time touring three different terminals and two Admirals Clubs during five hours of boredom.

As far as airports go, DFW is nothing special, and no one can truly enjoy spending more time there than they have to. However, the Skylink between terminals is inside the sterile side, so you don't have to traverse the TSA dungeons to switch terminals. The other redeeming quality is an Admirals Club in every terminal and a chicken in every pot. We had lunch in the D terminal club since I had this silly idea that my flight would actually depart from D17. After much disappointment and swearing in both English and Muttese, we reboarded the Skylink for the C terminal club, as I was handed a new ticket proclaiming there to be a flight to EWR from terminal C.

Remember when I claimed that the Skylink is a redeeming value? Well, it was for 2/3 of our trips. It's one of those conductorless monorail type deals where everything is automatic. This is done purely to lure unsuspecting riders into a false sense of security. One might assume that with computers running everything, there would be no backups outside stations, no trains colliding, and all that other fun and schedulable stuff. Which is exactly why everyone in the car went flying when the train came to a very sudden stop. I was one of the lucky few who actually met the ground, face to face. I even have the bruises to prove it on my arm and knee.

In summation, DFW and its Skylink of Terror are stupid.