29 June 2009


Friday was a day of disasters. It all started when I made a rash decision to walk the mutts. We hadn't even left the courtyard when an evil space monster from the Andromeda galaxy jumped out from behind a stone wall. With no warning, the devious being, which resembled a white poodle mutt, attacked. Zero took the first blow and ended up on his back with the creature from the blue lagoon on top. I had no idea what to do, except to try and pull Zero away by his leash. I was in a bit of a hurry to get the hell away, pulling both leashes with me, but Cerberus got in one last chomp. Unfortunately, it was on Tawny's tail. The worst part is that Cujo was on a flexileash (the thin leash that extends out of a plastic handle for somewhere around 20 feet) the entire time and his owner did nothing. And I mean NOTHING. Didn't move, didn't pull El Chupacabra back, didn't say a word. Her psycho "pet" was barking and attacking completely unprovoked (unless you count happening to walk by as provocation), and she stood there! Seriously, who does that?

After my initial round of panic, Naomi, who thankfully was already on her way over, helped me take the mutts to the vet. Zero's nasty looking stomach wound turned out to be superficial, but due to the area x-rays were required to check for abdominal bleeding. If the external injury had been worse, the vet would have recommended exploratory surgery to visually inspect the area. My eyeballs fell out when the vet first said surgery, but Naomi promptly dusted them off and popped them back in while the vet said it wouldn't be necessary. As for Tawny, the vet had to shave part of her tail to get at the puncture wound. With the fur gone, it really looks like something took a bite out of her tail, but as long as no one goes near her tail, she doesn't seem bothered by it.

After we brought the mutts home from the vet, Naomi and I went shopping. There's nothing like a bit of retail therapy after absolute chaos and bleeding tails.

Later that day, the phone rang an ominous death toll. As I ran for the office phone, my socked feet lost traction on the hardwood floors. SMASH! My right pinky toe was rather displeased with its violent introduction to the base molding it had previously only viewed from a distance. The worst part? It was an automated marketing call from Verizon.

Late Friday afternoon is NOT the time to injury oneself since doctors tend to have stopped making appointments for the week. In other words, I spent the weekend hobbling around on a swollen and oddly colored toe. But I did wake up early today to get an appointment, and get an appointment I did.

The doctor took x-rays of my foot and pronounced my toe to be officially broken and me a klutz. Here are the before and after x-rays:
I highlighted the newly-formed gaping chasm in red for your viewing enjoyment.

As of press time, Matt is yet to be injured. I can't help but expect a fork-wielding koala bear to attack him in the shower tomorrow morning.

22 June 2009

Apparently We Live in a Crime-Ridden Tsumani Zone

Matt and I take long bike rides on the weekend. They usually are restricted to daylight hours, but we tend to get distracted easily. And by we, I usually mean me. So just in case, we keep our spiffy headlights and taillights attached whenever we go out.

Yesterday played out like normal, ending with a stop at Soup Plantation for giant salads for dinner. Of course, we didn't want to immediately start biking again right after inhaling piles of lettuce, so we spent some time wandering a nearby sports store. About 25 feet from the bikes, Matt commented, "Our bikes are still there. And so are the helmets." To which I replied, "But our lights aren't." Some douche nozzle decided to steal our lights, including the brackets by which they were attached. As it was approaching sundown, we didn't have much time to plan our revenge, since we did not want to be out biking in the dark without lights.

I know that it isn't the end of the world, but I'm still rather upset. While the taillight brackets were merely clipped onto our seat bags, they require a surprising amount of effort to get off. So much effort, in fact, that they stayed on for the 200 mile drive to San Diego on the back of Matt's car after we couldn't remove them manually beforehand. As for the headlights, someone had to actually know what they were doing to get the brackets off our handlebars. The evil minion could have slid the lights from their brackets (front and back), but they took the brackets too! That's the part that pisses me off the most. The demonic spawn knew what it was doing and actively wanted lights for its own use, as opposed to some kids who just slid the lights out of the brackets.

Now that we have the "opportunity" to buy new lights, I'm looking for ones that actually lock. And hopefully exist. As for our helmets, we will continue to lock them to the bikes such that stealing them would require breaking the helmet into unusable pieces.

20 June 2009

All my problems have been solved!

Well, that may be a bit of an exaggeration. But my when to see Ian problem has been resolved in a most convenient fashion - everyone's coming here! Of course, now that I've it's been brought to my attention that this is the last year I qualify for Birthright, that idea is not getting shelved. I, and hopefully Matt if grad school doesn't get in his way, will be applying for winter 2010. Everything seems to have worked out. Assuming I get accepted.

The next resolution is complements of Nordstrom Rack, where designer stuff that didn't sell for outrageous prices is discounted to almost reasonable prices! Personally, I love that store since I always find something that I wanted but wouldn't have even considered purchasing at its regular price. While wandering the store waiting for Matt, I came across Calvin Klein Khaki Collection quilted pillows. We've needed new pillows for months, but hadn't found anything acceptable until that fateful day. These are the best pillows ever. No, really. Go get a half dozen for yourself RIGHT NOW!

08 June 2009

Just So I Don't Forget Why I Despise The TSA

On August 1, Ian will be leaving for a year of study abroad in Israel. I haven't seen him since April and I currently don't have any flights to New Jersey booked, which is an abnormal state in and of itself. So, do I visit him in New Jersey sometime in the next 6 weeks, or do I visit him in Israel, most likely in January?

New Jersey is infinitely cheaper. By a lot. Assume $300 round trip for the plane ticket, and approximately $0 for food and board and Momndad Bed & Breakfast. Israel can be done for $1000 round-trip, assuming I want to fly steerage and change planes at Heathrow. I don't mind coach/economy/proletarian for transcontinental, mainly due the existence of exit rows and the increased legroom that they provide, but for 113 hours, well, let's just say it's not ideal. Then comes hotel, food, random stuff that I buy. And last, but not least, Matt. I am NOT going to Israel for the first time by myself. And I certainly am not spending that much time in a plane to only stay a week. Ergo, $NewJersey <<<<<<<<<<< $Israel. However, Israel is Israel, where I've never been, while New Jersey is, well, New Jersey.

Where do I go?