26 September 2011

Mexico, now with fewer tourist abductions!

The ship was supposed to dock in Acapulco on Day 5, but that plan was scrapped. Apparently someone had determined that if guests were kidnapped by violent drug gangs, then there would be fewer people to buy Brilliant Tanzanite, On Sale for 40% Off MSRP! Instead, we would be spending Day 4 in Puerto Vallarta.

We had tickets to swim with dolphins for the second half of the day, so we spent the first half wandering around downtown Puerto Vallarta. Everyone there tried to sell us something, usually overpriced jewelry or tequila. Having practiced ignoring such proprietors in New York, we had no problem disregarding their one day sales.

We were less successful at disregarding the heat and humidity, so we did the only logical thing: Mexican Starbucks! 

I managed to order the wrong thing, so we were forced to make a second stop: Mexican McDonald's! 

After laughing at various menu options, namely the McNifico, I enjoyed a Coke chica, made with actual sugar, while Matt had a McFlurry, made with actual preservatives. Clearly I made the better choice.

Half the maps provided by the cruise ship were covered in ads for Diamonds International. We summarily ignored them at the first port, but curiosity, or perhaps a coupon for a free charm bracelet, finally got the better of me. I walked in knowing that it was going to be some sort of trap, so I was not surprised when they started trying to sell me things. For five dollars, I could get a punch card good for a free charm at practically every port in North America. I decided what the hell, knowing that it would make a good gift for someone.

A salesman kept trying to convince us to take a look around, perhaps at the Alexandrite? What? You've never heard of Alexandrite? That's because it's so rare that no more mines exist in the world. This is the last of the jewelry that will ever be made of it! Duly noted, we're leaving, toodle-loo. I strongly suspect that if I had been wearing my engagement ring, we never would have been allowed to leave.

After such a wonderful shopping experience, I was more than ready to swim with the dolphins. Our group of six had two dolphins, Luna and Jashuy (there is a slim chance that I spelled her name correctly). They were incredibly friendly and loved belly rubs. In fact, they were basically wet puppies with fewer legs. We danced with them, fed them, and even received dolphin kisses. But the best parts were the dolphin rides.

I was surprised how easily they were able to tow us, as well as how fast. Also, their skin was incredibly smooth. I expected that they would have cilia, or some sort of fine hairs, like other mammals. However, we were both shocked at their picture prices. Not even our waterproof camera was allowed near the dolphins, but their helpful photographers were on hand to capture magical memories! And for the merely exorbitant price of $139, we were welcome to take home as many pictures as we wanted on CD. Yay!

No comments: