The CHOOS! I mean SHOOO-ZUH!
I spent a lot of time thinking about this one, until I ultimately decided that the esoteric "IT Crowd" reference makes a much better title than a pedestrian PikaCHOO reference. But more importantly, there are shoes to discuss.
A long, long time ago, back in October, I fell in love with a gorgeous pair of Chanel stilettos.
Unfortunately, my evil (non)stepmother refused to allow her only daughter to walk down the aisle in black shoes. EVEN THOUGH NO ONE WOULD SEE THEM. But if no one can see them, why does it matter what shoes you wear? BECAUSE, MOM. BECAUSE. Needless to say, that conversation quickly degraded into tongue-fart noises.
Fast forward a few months, and I found myself in the Saks shoe department with Black Mamba, Icepop, and Nonstep Mother. I tried on many shoes, most of which were significantly less than the aforementioned Chanel beauties. But none came close in style, fit, or perfection. There was nothing to do but head across the street to Jimmy Choo. Actually, we needed to wait for my mom to finish trying on shoes. Wait what? You heard me. The Queen of the $12 Dress was trying on Jimmy Choo's! While smiling! Ah, let the gloating begin!
While we sauntered towards more shoes, a certain mother finally admitted that Jimmy Choo makes the most comfortable heels she'd ever tried on. Sadly, it couldn't have been my mothner since she was clearly replaced by an alien clone while I was in the bathroom.
About fifteen seconds after walking into the store, one of the employees mentioned that she remembered me and how happy I was about the shoes. Apparently the combination of legitimately excited and not a stuck up bitch was enough to permanently etch me in the minds of those purveying foot godliness.
I found the perfect pair of non-black/mom-approved shoes. Except the only pair in my size, which happens to be 38, was black. That simply wouldn't do, even with mom distracted by her own shoe-induced rapture. But wait! A store in New York had the magical size and color combination! One please! Some how I wasn't heart-broken at the thought of having to return in a week.
At the same time, my mom was busy falling in love with an incredibly shiny pair of platform heels. Since they are her shoes to share with the world, you'll have to get the full details from her. In other words, she actually bought the shoes!
There's nothing quite like obscenely expensive shoes to bring a mother and daughter together.
P.S. I didn't feel like exerting the effort to pixelate a picture of my amazing shoes, so use your imagination.
A long, long time ago, back in October, I fell in love with a gorgeous pair of Chanel stilettos.
Unfortunately, my evil (non)stepmother refused to allow her only daughter to walk down the aisle in black shoes. EVEN THOUGH NO ONE WOULD SEE THEM. But if no one can see them, why does it matter what shoes you wear? BECAUSE, MOM. BECAUSE. Needless to say, that conversation quickly degraded into tongue-fart noises.
Fast forward a few months, and I found myself in the Saks shoe department with Black Mamba, Icepop, and Nonstep Mother. I tried on many shoes, most of which were significantly less than the aforementioned Chanel beauties. But none came close in style, fit, or perfection. There was nothing to do but head across the street to Jimmy Choo. Actually, we needed to wait for my mom to finish trying on shoes. Wait what? You heard me. The Queen of the $12 Dress was trying on Jimmy Choo's! While smiling! Ah, let the gloating begin!
While we sauntered towards more shoes, a certain mother finally admitted that Jimmy Choo makes the most comfortable heels she'd ever tried on. Sadly, it couldn't have been my mothner since she was clearly replaced by an alien clone while I was in the bathroom.
About fifteen seconds after walking into the store, one of the employees mentioned that she remembered me and how happy I was about the shoes. Apparently the combination of legitimately excited and not a stuck up bitch was enough to permanently etch me in the minds of those purveying foot godliness.
I found the perfect pair of non-black/mom-approved shoes. Except the only pair in my size, which happens to be 38, was black. That simply wouldn't do, even with mom distracted by her own shoe-induced rapture. But wait! A store in New York had the magical size and color combination! One please! Some how I wasn't heart-broken at the thought of having to return in a week.
At the same time, my mom was busy falling in love with an incredibly shiny pair of platform heels. Since they are her shoes to share with the world, you'll have to get the full details from her. In other words, she actually bought the shoes!
There's nothing quite like obscenely expensive shoes to bring a mother and daughter together.
P.S. I didn't feel like exerting the effort to pixelate a picture of my amazing shoes, so use your imagination.
1 comment:
I think Mariah Carey wore a pair of those coming out of the gym in a recently publicized picture. Not that you're a poser or anything. ;)
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